How to Help a Loved One Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

by Elizabeth Miller

 
 

With breast cancer affecting 1 in 8 women, chances are you already know, or can anticipate knowing, someone who will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Based on my personal experience, here are some of the best ways to help a loved one.

Let Her Know You’re Thinking of Her: Notes, calls, texts and emails - take a moment on a regular basis to check in on her! Nothing would brighten my day faster than a handwritten note or a card in the mail. I saved them all and look back on them from time to time.

Take Time to Visit: Cancer can be isolating. Always call first when you want to schedule a short visit, and understand if your friend is not up for it on that day. Also, never visit if you are feeling unwell.

Useful Gift Ideas: Gifts were an unexpected part of being diagnosed with breast cancer. So many people brought or sent thoughtful gifts that I treasure to this day. Here are a few ideas:

 

  • Button front pajamas

  • Lightly scented candle

  • Mastectomy pillow

  • Soft blankets

  • Robe or shawl

  • Soft Fuzzy Socks

  • Lotions and lip balms

 
 

Group Gift Ideas:

  • Organize meals for your friend using sites like Mealtrain.com, TakeThemAMeal.com, or SignupGenius.com. Encourage your friend to put a cooler on the porch for meal deliveries.

  • Create a Care Basket filled with books, magazines, socks, and any gift items listed above.

  • Send care packages through sites like a SpoonfulofComfort.com (soups and other goodies).

  • Organize and collect items to create a gift card bouquet of local restaurant gift cards. You’ll find all sorts of cute ideas and examples on Pinterest!

When you say, “Call me if you need something”, your friend will not reach out and ask for help. Instead say,

  • “I’m headed to Target or the grocery. Send me your list and I can pick items up for you!”

  • “Is there a day this week I can help you with the kids or errands?”

  • “When would be a helpful time to come walk your dog or pick up any of your prescriptions?”

  • “Is there a good day I could mow your lawn or water your plants?”

  • “Is there a day I can drive you to radiation or chemotherapy?”

Don’t forget to check in on the caregivers as well. They need support and encouragement too!

 

Meet the Author

In 1995, Elizabeth Miller stood on the stage at the Vera Bradley Classic excitedly calling out raffle ticket winners. The Classic was just two years old, and raised a total of $117,000. Elizabeth was 23 years old and engaged to a “wonderful boy” named Jay Miller. Jay is the son of Patricia Miller, co-founder of both Vera Bradley and the Vera Bradley Foundation for Breast Cancer.

Little did that enthusiastic, cheerful young woman know, 27 years later she would be the mom of three thriving children, an active member of the Vera Bradley Foundation for Breast Cancer Board of Directors, and a breast cancer survivor. Her husband Jay remains the love of her life as they tackle all of life’s challenges and joys - and champion and support breast cancer research together!

 
Anna Shelton